What Executive Dysfunction Actually Feels Like (and Why It’s Not Laziness)
Spoiler: It’s Not Laziness. It’s Physics.
There’s this thing I’ve tried to explain my entire life.
It looks like procrastination.
Feels like self-sabotage.
Gets labeled as laziness, immaturity, resistance.
But it’s not any of those things.
It’s called executive dysfunction—and if you’re neurodivergent, you probably know the beast well.
But let me tell you what it really feels like.
It feels like watching your kitchen get messier by the hour, while your body refuses to stand up.
It feels like remembering something 14 times a day—but still not doing it.
It feels like opening a drawer to start, seeing too many things, and closing it again like it bit you.
It feels like panic, shame, and exhaustion all hiding under a single undone task.
It’s not a matter of wanting to do something.
It’s about accessing the bridge between intention and action—and realizing the bridge has been washed out.
Executive dysfunction isn’t about effort.
It’s about access.
You can know what to do.
You can want to do it.
You can tell someone you're about to do it.
And still… nothing.
If you’ve never experienced it, it’s hard to explain.
And if you have experienced it, you probably don’t need an explanation. You just need someone to say:
“Hey, you’re not broken. Your brain just plays by different rules.”
Here’s what helps (sometimes):
Let’s not pretend there’s a magic system or app that cures it. But I’ll tell you what has worked for me, when it works:
Visual timers (like the Time Timer or an iPad with a progress bar)
Body doubling (having someone else just exist while I try to move)
Micro-lists that start with things like “open the drawer” or “breathe”
Changing the stakes—like pretending I’m doing it for someone else
Permission to do it badly or incompletely
Sometimes I need tools.
Sometimes I need to cry.
Sometimes I need to make peace with what I can’t do right now.
And sometimes, I need to be reminded that executive dysfunction isn’t a failure of willpower—it’s a glitch in the wiring that requires compassion, not discipline.
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone.
You’re not lazy. You’re not defective.
You’re a whole human with a nervous system that’s tired and a brain that’s busy trying to filter a thousand things at once.
So be gentle with yourself.
Or if you can’t be gentle, be curious.
Or if you can’t be curious, just breathe—and I’ll sit here beside you until something moves again.
Ready when you are:
The course is live → “I’m Not Lazy” — An Executive Function Survival Kit
It’s made for brains like ours—chaotic, brilliant, overwhelmed.
Inside, you’ll find visual tools, realistic strategies, and weirdly comforting pep talks that won’t guilt you into productivity but might help you move again.
At AuRTistic Expressions, I create neurodivergent-friendly resources to help with executive dysfunction, emotional regulation, and burnout recovery. Whether you’re autistic, ADHD, or just wired a little differently—this space is built for brains like yours.
Cover Art: Photo by Alice Dietrich on Unsplash
