The Anatomy of a Workplace Bully: Why Neurodivergent Employees Are Prime Targets
They say bullies peak in middle school. They lied. I’ve talked about this before, but it’s time to double down.
All too common scenario: You're brilliant at your job. Your attention to detail puts others to shame, you solve problems that leave your colleagues scratching their heads, and your dedication is the kind that makes managers swoon during performance reviews. You’re the proverbial “ROCKSTAR”. The most vomit-inducing “compliment” I hope I never have to hear again. Just stop saying it, ya’ll.
But somehow—and this is where it gets twisted—you've become the target of someone's sick little game. A systematic campaign designed to make you question everything: your worth, your abilities, your sanity, and ultimately, whether you even deserve to take up space in that seat.
Welcome to the reality of neurodivergent employment, where the very traits that make you exceptional become ammunition in someone else's hands.
Let's Talk Numbers (Because They're Absolutely Brutal)
I'm going to share some statistics that will hopefully make your stomach churn, because they should. 79.3 million U.S. workers are affected by workplace bullying, but when you're neurodivergent? The target on your back gets exponentially bigger.
One in five neurodivergent employees have experienced harassment or discrimination at work because of their neurodivergence, and nearly half (49%) of disabled workers reported bullying or harassment in the past year. In the UK, too, half of autistic employees report bullying, harassment, or other discrimination or unfair treatment at work. For perspective, that's more than double the rate of the general population.
These aren't abstract data points—they represent real human beings whose careers are being torpedoed, whose mental health is being shredded, and whose livelihoods are being systematically destroyed by workplace predators who've figured out that neurological differences make for easy targets.
Why We're Perfect Victims (And I Mean That in the Worst Way)
Workplace bullies aren't random. They're strategic predators, and neurodivergent employees check every box on their "ideal target" checklist.
You know how we autistic folks interpret language literally? How we take people at their word instead of playing those exhausting guessing games about hidden meanings? What everyone else recognizes as sarcasm, passive-aggression, or veiled threats, we often process as genuine communication.
Translation for the bullies: They can destroy us while hiding behind "I was just joking!" Their plausible deniability becomes their shield while they chip away at our confidence and reputation, one "harmless" comment at a time.
The painful reality is that many of us will have been misunderstood, bullied, excluded, and discriminated against at school, at home, by our peers, in college, and yes, at previous jobs. This history of marginalization creates a perfect storm where we:
Have fewer workplace allies (because building professional relationships is like trying to solve Chinese calculus)
Are less likely to be believed when we report abuse (thanks, credibility gap!)
Often don't recognize bullying patterns because we've normalized being treated poorly
Lack the social networks that automatically protect other employees (aka “we’re a family!”)
It's like starting a race where everyone else gets a head start, and you're running with ankle weights.
The "Tall Poppy Syndrome" Bullseye
Here's where it gets really twisted. No other group of employees has been shown to be up to 140% more productive than their neurotypical counterparts. Our intense focus, attention to detail, and passion for excellence should be assets. No, they ARE assets, but they also make us targets for what researchers call the "Get smarty pants" phenomenon—bullying and victimization of top performers due to coworker and superior envy.
The cruel irony: Your excellence becomes your liability. The very traits that make you invaluable to the organization make you a threat to insecure colleagues and bosses who'd rather tear you down than step up their own game. I said what I said.
The Bully's Playbook: How They Weaponize Our Differences
Workplace bullies who target neurodivergent employees don't just wing it—they have a playbook that's disturbingly sophisticated in how it exploits our specific vulnerabilities. But don’t be confused. This isn’t their only bullying playbook. It’s just the one that works particularly well on us.
Tactic #1: Information Warfare
Deliberately withholding crucial work information (because they know we need ALL the details)
"Forgetting" to include us in important communications
Changing meeting times or locations without notice
Using our need for clear instructions against us by providing deliberately vague guidance
Tactic #2: Social Exile
Systematically excluding us from team activities
Creating social events specifically designed to highlight our differences
Over 50% of employees with disabilities have felt excluded from workplace social activities or events
Weaponizing our preference for quiet spaces by labeling us as "antisocial" or "difficult"
Tactic #3: Sensory Sabotage
Deliberately creating sensory chaos when they know we need to focus
Scheduling important meetings in sensory-hostile environments
Making loud noises or playing music in spaces they know we use for regulation
Using our accommodations as "evidence" that we're "high maintenance"
Tactic #4: The Gaslighting Symphony
This one's particularly insidious because it targets our literal thinking:
Questioning our memory or perception of events
Making us doubt our professional competence
33% of employees with disabilities report being openly mocked or ridiculed at work because of their disability
Reframing our direct communication style as "rude" or "unprofessional"
Tactic #5: The Trojan Horse Friendship
This might be the cruelest: exploiting our tendency to trust at face value by pretending to be friends while systematically undermining us. They'll act supportive to our faces while spreading rumors, sharing confidential information, or setting us up to fail behind the scenes.
The System Is Rigged (And Not in Our Favor)
The most soul-crushing part isn't just the individual bullies—it's discovering that the entire system is designed to protect them while hanging us out to dry.
This little nugget of information left me scratching my head: experimental studies show that autistic individuals are perceived as more deceptive and of lesser character than neurotypical individuals when telling the truth. Let that sink in for a minute.
These judgments are based on neurotypical interpretations of our body language, eye contact patterns, and communication style—the very traits that define our neurodivergence. Translation: When we report bullying, we're not just fighting the bully. We're fighting unconscious bias that automatically labels our natural communication style as "untrustworthy."
Research shows that non-autistic individuals tend to lack empathy toward autistic people (can you see the irony dripping down your screen?) and display significant automatic bias after just brief first impressions. This means:
HR departments may unconsciously side with neurotypical bullies (or, let’s be real, consciously)
An allistic bully will likely have the advantage over an autistic target when authority figures make decisions (if they even bother to show up)
Our trauma responses (anxiety, depression, withdrawal) get weaponized as evidence of our "problems" rather than recognized as symptoms of abuse
Here’s another fun fact: most workplaces in the US lack specific regulations against bullying, and there's currently no federal law against workplace bullying. Unless the abuse can be directly tied to our disability status (good luck proving that), there's often zero legal recourse.
The devastating outcome: 62% of workplace bullying cases result in the victim's resignation, while 70% of the time, the bully remains with the company. They're literally betting that we'll leave before they face consequences. And they're winning that bet.
The True Cost: Beyond Individual Destruction
The ripple effects of workplace bullying extend so far beyond the immediate psychological carnage that it’s becoming a societal crisis.
Both occasionally and frequently bullied employees show significantly increased odds of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts. For neurodivergent employees, who already navigate higher rates of mental health challenges, this creates a perfect storm of psychological devastation.
The numbers are stark: neurodivergent employees are more likely to always or often feel exhausted (45% vs 30%), feel under excessive pressure (35% vs 29%), and experience loneliness at work (23% vs 17%) compared to neurotypical employees.
The financial destruction is disgusting:
The cost of bullying reaches $100,000 per year per victim
Disability discrimination costs employers an estimated $50 billion annually in turnover
Workers with disabilities earn on average 37% less than their non-disabled counterparts
If you’re not mad yet, maybe this will help: the unemployment rate for neurodivergent adults sits at 30-40%, roughly eight times the rate for individuals without disabilities. When you factor in workplace bullying's role in driving talented neurodivergent employees out of the workforce entirely, we're not just talking about individual tragedies—we're talking about massive societal waste of human potential and innovation.
How "Good" People Become Accessories to Abuse
For me, the most disappointing part is that it's not just the obvious perpetrators wreaking havoc. It's how well-meaning, supposedly decent people become complicit in the systematic destruction of neurodivergent and disabled employees.
75% of employees have witnessed workplace bullying behavior, yet only 1% of victims ever confront their perpetrators. Do the math: for every victim, there are dozens of witnesses who choose silence over speaking up.
Organizations routinely disguise bullying tolerance as "cultural fit" concerns. When neurodivergent employees get labeled as "not a good fit," it's often corporate speak for "they don't tolerate our toxic culture (family) quietly enough."
We're the most productive employees in the building, consistently outperforming our neurotypical colleagues, yet we face the highest rates of workplace bullying and unemployment. The system is literally destroying its most valuable assets because they make insecure people uncomfortable.
Fighting Back: Recognition Is Your First Weapon
Understanding how workplace bullying specifically targets neurodivergent employees is a survival strategy. When you can see the patterns clearly, you can:
Recognize tactics before they escalate into full-scale campaigns
Document patterns systematically (because our attention to detail becomes an asset)
Build awareness among allies (if you can find them) who might not recognize what they're witnessing
Demand organizational accountability with specific examples and documented impact
Create support networks for other targeted employees who might be suffering in silence (believe me, you’re not the only one)
There's Light Breaking Through the Darkness
Despite these soul-crushing statistics, real change is happening. Organizations that genuinely commit to neurodivergent inclusion aren't just checking diversity boxes—they're gaining legitimate competitive advantages through cognitive diversity and different perspectives.
But real transformation requires more than feel-good training sessions and awareness campaigns. It demands acknowledging that workplace bullying is a systematic problem that disproportionately targets neurodivergent and disabled employees and taking concrete action to protect this vulnerable but incredibly valuable population.
I've been fortunate to have numerous conversations over the past couple of months on LinkedIn with survivors who've experienced workplace bullying firsthand and are finally breaking their silence. Even more encouraging are the recent conversations I've had with former bystanders—those who witnessed enough abuse and are finally finding their voices to speak out against it. These conversations are the glimmer of hope in the decency of the human race that I’m clinging to.
So, next week, I'm launching a series that will show you exactly how to build workplaces where neurodivergent employees don't just survive—they absolutely thrive. "Beyond Accommodations: Building Truly Neuro-Inclusive Workplaces" will guide you through The Incredibles' (y’all should have picked up by now that I love a good theme) workplace wisdom, demonstrating how to transform organizational cultures from the ground up.
Because every neurodivergent & disabled employee deserves to work in an environment where their differences are recognized as strengths, not painted as targets on their backs.
If you're experiencing workplace bullying right now, listen to me: this is NOT your fault, and you are absolutely not alone. Document everything, seek support from people who understand (while being careful of who you trust), and remember that your worth isn't determined by how cruel people choose to treat you.
Follow along on Instagram, TikTok, and LinkedIn for visuals and bite-sized insights from this piece. And if this resonated, share it with someone else who gets it.
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About the Author
Gal is an autistic artist, late-diagnosed at 49, and the creator of AuRTistic Expressions—a space where neurodivergent truth meets creative survival. Through blog posts, printables, courses, and the “This Might Get Messy” podcast, Gal explores what it means to unmask safely, communicate authentically, and make art that doesn’t ask for permission. Stick around—there’s plenty more where this came from.
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References
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CTE Policy Watch. (2024, May 17). Research Roundup: Neurodiversity in the Workplace, Student Financial Aid Eligibility and Guided Pathways. https://ctepolicywatch.acteonline.org/2024/05/research-roundup-neurodiversity-in-the-workplace-student-financial-aid-eligibility-and-guided-pathwa.html
Cover Photo by Road Ahead on Unsplash
